elitism

in the world of FFXIV raiding,
there is a lot of elitism.

people get in days, weeks-long dickmeasuring contests
over who cleared when, which strat is better,
who’s better at DPS, who’s better at healing,
who’s a braindead idiot moron who can’t do mechanics,
who’s a genius prodigy who is infallible in all parties.

it’s tiresome. a fucking chore. disgusting, honestly.
and it’s an interesting microcosm of reality.
in the world of online screens, anonymity is king.
and so to see the nature of people acted out in this space,
where they act knowing they’re relatively anonymous,
is interesting to think about how those people would be
in real life. not to make the age-old argument about
irl vs online. fuck that shit, it’s boring.

but it can be hard to keep track of your own sanity
amidst all the nonsense that people discuss. for me,
especially in ultimate discussion. i try to stay humble
about the opportunities i’m given, but it also feels
insanely good to gatekeep. i’m not sure when i grew
the mental faculty to get dopamine from gatekeeping,
but i definitely have it. i’m trying to see if i can
grow out of that, as well. maybe with age and effort.

people who can ignore all this stuff are the true heroes
to me. i feel like getting in the mix is the stuff of life,
and to so blatantly ignore it or even acknowledge it and still
give it no mind because it is truly useless bullshit is impressive.

thanks for reading today’s post.
anyway, back to the NAUR discord general chat.